How To Avoid A Misunderstanding In Marriage.

“He should be intelligent,

~debt free
~Faithful…” her list went on and on.

After she was done writing it on a piece of paper, she stapled it, and put it in her treasure chest. Kneeling down,  she said some prayers and went to bed.

Tina has always believed that the man of her dreams exist and she was ready to wait for him and enjoy her “single-hood” while it last, which she really did. Financially, Tina was stable; built a house—where she lives, pays her bills, and even sponsored her kid sister’s tertiary education abroad.

Tina will always wake up at night to pray concerning her future spouse, reiterating those qualities she wrote down believing God will answer her prayer. She began this at the age of 23.

Tina believes she has been doing the “necessary things” in preparation to meet the right man and to be the perfect help meet for him. Unfortunately, she was ignorantly praying for the preparation of the “right man” while leaving herself unprepared for him. Tina is a lady full of pride. Hence,  she often disregard people; being unkind to them. She is the “I’m far better than you” type of person. Hence, people find it hard to tolerate her attitude; those who can’t tolerate, just stay away from her.

On a fateful day, she was viewing her friends’ status on Facebook where she bumped in to a flyer with a theme that read “He Might Be Next To You,”  for a program  hosted by a group of youth, which will be holding the next day. Tina decided to go for the program believing she will learn one or two things from the program since she was already 25 and felt she was ready to be walk down the aisle.

The next day,  being Saturday she was at the venue 30 minutes before the slated time.  Tina is a lady who keeps to time no matter what. When the program began,  she was amazed at what the speaker was saying because she was learning something new already, “wow! I have been on the wrong, all this while…” She thought to herself. After the program, she met one of the organizers and requested for his number and requested that he should please reach her if they are organizing any program of such again.

On getting home,  Tina took her nap and had enough rest.  In the evening, she took out her notepad, from  the brightly coloured pink bag, she wore to the program. She began going through it and a statement kept reiterating on her mind. It was the “Reality Check” statement the speaker made that led to that. “If you desire a particular quality in the man/woman  you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you need to start desiring and working towards having that quality. You need to be equally yoked! Hence, you need to carryout reality check with the list you have written for him/her.”

These statement really hit Tina that she had to bring out the list from her treasure chest and do some reality check. Tina was able to see that she was unequally yoked with the man on her list. Hence, she began seeking God’s aid and working on herself.
Ten months later,  Tina fell in love with her closest friend’s Cousin  which after a year, they got married.

How fortunate for Tina. But what if she had never had opportunity to go to that program? Would she have been able to carryout the reality check on herself to discover she was unequally yoked with the man of her dreams? A lot of us have been wallowing in the ignorance of being unequally yoked with the attributes of the man/woman  of our dreams.

We desire them to be what we are not. We need them all packed and labelled but we are yet to be packed,  say more or being labelled. Maybe it’s time to do some reality check like Tina.

When you can’t see yourself having your dream spouse’s attitude(character) then don’t even dream of wishing or praying he/she has, because you won’t be on same page;  there will always be misunderstanding because you are not having same conviction. Let’s check out this scenario:

A lady wishes and prays for her future spouse to be charitable, which he is. After the wedding, during festive season, the man decides to share gifts, in kinds and cash to the less privilege, which the wife is against because she feels it’s not necessary. From the above scenario,  it’s obvious that the result will be misunderstanding. You can imagine a lot of scenarios as such.

If we can work on ourselves, desiring and working towards having the qualities we want in our future spouse, we will have less broken homes. If you desire a wealthy man/woman,  you shouldn’t just sit  and expect him to come out of the  thin air. You need to be busy creating wealth as well because if you don’t know how to create and manage wealth, you will end up being carefree in managing his resources. It’s high time we do some reality checks before reality begins playing chess on our future homes.

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