Her face and lips reacted to the pain from the scar on her right knee, which forcefully drifted off to the wall. Covering the scar, was a seemingly leathery skin over a white tissue. It was 15 years back she sustained a cut while serving a 5years term in the prison. Wura turned herself in when she couldn’t bear the weight of her guilt, being one of the accomplices to the rape case of a 17 years old girl, who fortunately escaped before she could be raped.
Turning a new leaf, Wura moved to Abeokuta. Life became fair to her. Scarred by her past, her mind kept reiterating the girl’s plea after deceiving her and taking her to be raped by her accomplices.
She went through hell and high water trying to forgive herself. As she caresses the scar to ease the pain, her mind couldn’t let go of the stench of her ugly past.
Making significant progress in life is a function of having a mind that supports your efforts. When the mind is weighed by repugnant pieces of stuff, progress will be far from one’s grasp.
It’s been reiterated that “the past doesn’t determine one’s future.” This is true, but one can still determine his future if his past lurks around his mind, and abruptly bomb into his thoughts, making him squam. Such, can affect a person and limit him from making significant decisions to lead a better life. Hence, it’s a necessity to point out reasons that sponsor this growth, and such success demeaning attributes.
Reasons Why it’s Hard to Forgive Yourself
1. Your Desire to Change the Past
One of the hardest decisions to make is, “accepting one’s past errors.” It’s only human to keep reiterating regrets, but it’s no lie that it won’t help you live the life you desire. It will mar your efforts to achieve your goals and make significant strides. Hence, efforts need to be made to let go of that.
The truth is, you can’t change the past but you can use it to build a better future needless of how ugly it is. The lady in the story obviously wishes she could rewrite the past and have a clear conscience. But the truth is, she can’t. Wishes and desires can’t rewrite your past, but efforts to let go of your past regardless of how small it is, it can change the narrative of your future.
Practice these habits:
- Take out time to visit a therapist.
- Speak to a credible and trusted person/mentor.
- Take spiritual counsel and affirm what God says about you, regardless of your past. As a Christian, a personality that can help you conquer the past is the Holy Spirit.
- This will help also; How to change bad narratives.
2. Destructive Criticism and Comparison
When you fail to forgive yourself for your past deeds, you make your mind fall prey to the slavery of limiting beliefs, negative affirmations, and destructive comparison.
When you keep blaming yourself for your past mistakes, you begin to make unnecessary judgments of yourself and start comparing yourself to others in a demeaning pattern that can lead you to depression or even committing suicide.
Letting go of your past, is showing yourself mercy so you can make progress in life’s journey. There’s no gain to hurting yourself because of past mistakes. The consequences can be overwhelming yet, with the right help, you can still lead your best life yet.
You owe yourself the decision to lead a better and best life yet. Adopting the needed strategies to do this, is a necessity. You can adopt this affirmation to help you conquer your past, forgive yourself and make the most out of your life.
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