“Wow! Your home is beautiful! Dear. Just the way you’ve always fantasized and told me, those years. How time flies! You have the man of your dream, you own your business, you have time for your kids, your family is perfect, everything is just as you’ve always imagined it. Your prayers have all been answered. I wish I had prayed harder. You see my life? As if God is against me. I am just suffering! My marriage is a mess, even though I had the wedding of my dreams. I have a well paying job but I don’t have time for my kids. Deborah, I don’t have a happy home. Just imagine, my kids prefer spending the weekend with their grandma rather than spending it with me.” Tracy busted into tears.
“Oh no! Dear. God is not against you. He is gracious to us even when we don’t worth his blessings. ‘Just because things are not working for you now doesn’t mean it’s permanent.’ You know during my struggling days you’ve always reminded that. So you shouldn’t give up dear. I am sorry you are going through this storm but trust God, you will soon come out of it.” Deborah said.
“And it’s not that you didn’t pray harder bu… bu… bu…t y… you kno…w just trust God.” Deborah stammered.
“But how! How am I going to get out of this when I got married to the wrong person! Or am I going to quit my job? I have been praying and God isn’t answering. So how, Deborah? How?”
“I am going to help you. But first, you have to stop believing you got married to the wrong man. And stop having self-pity because it won’t help you. And is not as if God isn’t answering your prayers. He is, but you need to work on yourself; your character, your attitude to your husband and children and those around you as well. You can’t keep making your husband feel he is privileged to marry you just because you earn more than he does. You know he will not pretend to be happy when he isn’t.”
Deborah and Tracy have been friends since Tracy’s family packed to “Cravings Estate;” Tracy’s house is just a stone throw to Deborah’s. Since their 18th birthday, they’ve all had been sharing their fantasies to each other’s listening. In fact, Tracy’s elder brother often call them “The Dreamers.”
Deborah had always believed that, whatever it is she wants to have or see in the future, she needs to start making efforts in mapping out the plan now, even if it will take forty (40) years to realize. She often say, “If you want to paint a beautiful picture on your canvas next month because you don’t have money now, start by going on a survey to stores on where you can get the perfect brush and other materials for your painting because later, you will be thankful you went for that survey.” Holding on to that believe, she supported her dreams and fantasies with not just prayer but hard work.
Deborah had always fantasize about owning a bakery, having a loving husband, having a happy home, and also having an NGO ( Nongovernmental Organization) that cater for orphans. She knows just sitting and fantasizing will not bring all these to reality. Hence, she started working on herself as well as praying for God to help her. She decided to get books on entrepreneurship, parenting and relationship. She was always ready to learn from people’s success story. She worked on her attitude towards people because she discovered people were complaining she gets angry easily and she knew if she wanted a happy home, that “anger” in her needs to be controlled so it won’t cost her future home. She also learnt to stop spending extravagantly and start investing so she can start offering catering services with the goal of someday having her own bakery. Though Deborah was devoted to making her fantasies realize, she lived in the joy of every moment.
Tracy, also had beautiful dreams and fantasies. Hers were, to have a lovely husband and happy home as well, to be a consultant web developer, travel out for vacation with her family every holiday and be the best mom to her kids and wife to her husband. But unlike Deborah, Tracy was finding it hard to make necessary sacrifices for her future. Once Deborah talks to her about curbing her boastfulness, (pride) she will say, “whoever is meant for me will love me that way.” At several occasions, when Deborah sees advert of online seminars on web development, she will often tell her but Tracy will give excuses not to attend or lie, promising her she will attend. Tracy was easily influenced; she had little opinion on what she wanted to do and where she wanted to be and this really affected her because she cared more about fitting in, than standing out.
Like Deborah and Tracy, every individual has beautiful dreams, aspirations or fantasies, but few work towards bringing them to reality as Deborah did. Some just pray and sit back. While others pray and work hard. This only implies that prayer isn’t a license to stay clear hard work. Both are necessary.
One of the misfortune that rises up when our dreams and fantasies don’t realize is regrets. “Had I known,” “I wish I could turn back the hands of time,” I should have…” become our favorite words because we failed at making efforts to realize them when we were supposed to. The two ladies in the above story clearly describe two types of individuals when it comes to having aspirations, which we sometimes call fantasies.
Just like Deborah, some individuals don’t just wait for their fantasies to realize out of the blues. They know, for it to realize, they will need to work hard and make necessary sacrifices. While majority like Tracy, will only fantasize and talk about it. They believe whether they work hard or not, if those fantasies are meant to realize, they will. “They care less working to see it realize,” but “desire most to have it realize.” What an Irony.
Tom Bradley once said, “The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dream is you.” This quotes has been able to make clear, the message of this article in thirteen (13) words. What stopped Tracy from realizing her aspiration was herself. Likewise a number of individuals. You can’t harvest success with others, when at the time they were sacrificing their time, to plant and weed you were doing nothing; success doesn’t come by mistake.
3 years back, a friend told me, he really wish to be the best father to his kids and have a happy home, and he is already working towards it by learning how to love and play with children. You will agree that if he keeps working towards it, he will indeed have a very happy home.
Three of the key attitudes you must develop, to realize your aspirations or fantasies are;
COURAGE, to be able to take the necessary and important steps.
CONSISTENCY, to continue carrying out those indispensable habits that will help realize them.
DISCIPLINE, to be able stay true to the journey till success is attained.
Elisha Mamman wrote, “Tomorrow belongs to those who are ready to take charge of their today.” and Maya Angelou said, “Nothing will work until you do.” You decide whether your goals are achieved or your fantasies are realized by what you decide to do today. You can just sit and keep fantasising or stand up and work towards achieving it. As Bishop Oyedepo will say, “If you fail, it is your fault. If you succeed, it is also your fault. You choose which fault you want to commit.” Tracy ignorantly chose the wrong fault and she is regretting. What about you who isn’t ignorant? Which fault will you choose?