Why You Should Appreciate Every Circumstance Surrounding Your Growth: She Was Grateful For Her Nightmare

Meet Miss Tolorunju Mercy Moyinoluwa our guest writer today. She is one smart,  beautiful and great lady. She wrote to us, with deep conviction that someone needs learn from Dara’s story.

Dara was a young, beautiful, smart and intelligent lady. While growing up, she wanted to have her freedom; she wanted to be exposed to see how life is(have her own experiences and adventures without restrictions) She never wanted to be “the indoor type of person.” Unfortunately, her parent never gave her the chance to make that decision. She was allowed to go out on necessary occasions. Her parent seemed to be sure of knowing anywhere their daughter was heading to, and to crown it all Dr & Mrs Francis(Dara’s parents) knew almost all their daughter’s friends.

Dara was almost going to four places. She could boast of; School, Church, Market, Tola and Jola’s place on occasions. This went on for 20years of Dara’s life because going out or hanging out with friends seems to be a jobless act to the father. 

Tola and Jola were Dara’s friends. She liked the way both of them were exposed and wished to be like them, but her parents would never tolerate that. Her mom’s was worst because she believed whatever the dad said, it’s final. Tola and Jola were twins and were seen as cultured kids but secretly, were into immoral and nasty lifestyle. Their parents were always traveling out of the country for business meetings, living them with a nanny. Hence,  they had little parental upbringing. Dara’s lIfe felt so boring because she felt she was not in vogue. So she wished she could be in her friends’ position.

 When she turned 21, she got admission into the university, which became a wider world to her. Everything seemed new and foreign to her. She began to see things differently. She was left to make some decisions. It’s either she adopts a new lifestyle and pretend to her parent, or hold on to the values her parent inculcated in her. The ball was in her court. Although, she struggled with so many things but one thing kept ringing in her head, “know the child of who you are; hold on to your values.” It almost seemed like an anthem that kept resonating in her mind. Hence, that phrase kept her in check. 

Her parents were not just concerned only with her spiritual life, her social life and academics were also their priority. She couldn’t count the number of times her dad called to ask of her walk with God, her engagements in social activities and her academic journey.

At the age of 26, Dara was already through with National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) and was working; staying in her own apartment. Her parent agreed to her staying alone because they believed she was old enough to make decisions and bear the consequences. 

To Dara’s dismay, Tola and Jola were sentenced to 2 years imprisonment because of a murder that took place at a party they attended, even though they had no knowledge of the ugly incidence. At this point, in her bitterness, she became grateful to God for helping her parent raise her up in that way because she realized her friends turned out to have the fate no one ever dreamed of. She affirmed she was indebted to her parents for all their effort to make sure she  makes the best out of life.

Dara decided when she have her kids, she will raise them in the manner her parent raised her. Though not by grounding them but showing them the reality of the world and helping them make good choices and avoid anything that will snatch the time she is supposed to have with her kids. “I would have gone wild if I was permitted to live the kind of life I envisioned, like my friends. But I am grateful to God and my parent.” She would always say. She was glad she yielded to her parent’s upbringing if not she would have been living a life of regret as her friends, Tola and Jola. The parent  groomed her to become who she is today, directly or indirectly and she is seeing all their efforts in her life. 

          The Morals

As individuals, most especially the teenagers, it’s only natural if you want to explore life by desiring to live your fantasies, ignoring the consequence. But also have it at heart to never ignore the discipline of your parent or those ahead of you. Their discipline might be the necessary aid you need to launch into greatness.
Further, have no reason to belittle or disobey those who want the best for you. Dara would have disobeyed her parent but she knew her parent would never want the worst for her but the best. Hence,  she didn’t compromise even when she had the opportunity to.

As parents, your kids are not only a blessing but a responsibility, which entails it’s not just enough to take them to the best schools and get them the best stuffs out there. It’s not just enough. Their mental, spiritual and personal growth should be your priority as well. Some parents are less concerned with spending time with their kids trying to know the challenges they are personally going through. Some do this out of the ignorance, that kids go through a lot of changes mentally especially at puberty and they really need the right counsel to go through this stage. Sometimes, Nannies can’t substitute the place of parent.

Lastly, as a child, your parents will try their best to  nurture you rightly but you have the choice to decide what you do with your life keeping in mind whatever the consequences are,  you have yourself to praise or blame.

Tolorunju Mercy Moyinoluwa is a self-motivated lady, a great writer, a positive thinker who loves speaking and inspiring teenagers and youths .

She is a creative lady with great skills in making purse, hand bag and roses. 

She believes in encouraging people,  putting smile on their faces and helping them unleash the beauty and greatness within them.  

She is a 300 level student of Geography, Federal university Lokoja, Kogi State, Nigeria.

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