YOU ARE NOT BARREN, YOU’RE SPECIAL: Why You Shouldn’t Beat Yourself up Because You Haven’t Conceived Yet. By Joshua Sule

Today,  we have a guest writer with a great insight on Barrenness. He is the author of the book, ‘The Chronicles of McBingo’ He is, Joshua Sule.

The wife dragged him by his waist,

“You must give me MY OWN children today!”

The next day, the  mother-in-law thundered on her,

“Adaku! for five years now!
you haven’t given me  MY OWN grandchildren…shame on you!”

These are familiar voices that tear down  roofs today.

Barrenness has caused a lot of sociocultural controversies especially in the context of marriage. The very sole expectation from every marriage is that it produces fruit – children that will proof the potency of the spouses and maintain the family name. Some have gone as far as saying that children are the only true proof of God’s blessing upon a marriage, while others consider Children as a proof that the woman is not a witch eating up her own seed or confirmation that she did not live promiscuously before marriage. Of course, all these assumptions are mere traditions that only reveals how greedily ignorant and obsessed many are towards having children.

The great Apostle Joshua Selman in one of his teachings on the Kingdom of GOD has this to say “In the kingdom, we don’t own things, we only access them. Owners are rebels”.  For instance, The day Lucifer wanted to have his own things, he was eternally punished. The prodigal son also lost access to the source when he demanded for his own property. We must remember that the earth and everything in it belongs to God.

 Like I opined in the article  YOU’RE NOT BARREN,  published in June 2018, I emphasized that Children are not ours. They all belong to GOD and are given to us as trust. Consequently, we need to see them in this light as this will help keep us from going out of our way in the attempt to get our own Children. 


I will share two reasons why I feel barrenness or the inability to bear children is not ‘necessary’ a loud call for alarm.


GOD’S PLANS FOR US are of GOOD AND NOT OF EVIL to BRING US to an EXPECTED END. The plans that God has for you concerning bearing children is not to be fruitless. That you can not reason out the plan of God doesn’t mean it is not good. And whatever the road will look like, God has it carefully planned out to take you to the right place. This is to say, destination, purpose and timing matters to God.

God wouldn’t mind delaying the journey when the reason for the journey is not yet in place. God loves to see the end from the beginning. It is like the aircraft stations, when the meteorological conditions for that day is not favorable, the plane won’t take off. This is in terms with God. He would prefer not to give you a child until the need for the child is created.

Elizabeth didn’t take in until the need for someone to prepare Jesus’ way arose. Manoah’s wife didn’t conceive until there’s need for a Samson in Israel. Hannah didn’t become pregnant until the need for a Samuel as a priest came and several other instances. God will give you children when the need arises.

You asking God for a child just to proof a point and silence your critics is not reason enough for GOD to give you the child. Dr. Myles Munroe puts it this way – “Purpose proceeds a thing.”


God was the first person to practice adoption. He adopted us into His own family as sons and daughters of Zion.
Look, purpose is tied to environment. You can not effectively carryout your purpose outside its environment just like a seed can not grow effectively in a bad environment. As much as God would want you to achieve purpose, He also ensures He provides the best atmosphere for you. Moses was given birth by his biological parents but was not trained by them.

Sometime, your parent may not have the influence you will need to push you into purpose, so what God does is to raise destiny helpers that will help you achieve that purpose. Becoming has a lot to do with purpose. You must become what your purpose will find at ease.

Another way to look at this is through the movie, “babyless Mother” directed by Mount Zion Veteran, Mr. Segun Okeowo. Mrs. Folake’s hope of having children was built on the prophecy upon her life despite the blockage she had on her Fallopian tube which hindered the passage of semen for fertilization of the ovary. Beards of perspiration tricked down my very own eyes when the husband died to asthma, the day they agreed on having an invitro-fertilization. It was in her mourning days that God expanded the prophecy to her: God never created a motherless baby. The world through its wickedness created them. But because God wants every child to enjoy motherhood, He permitted babyless mothers.”  Aside the orphanage home she later had, the movie had it that she trained up seven adopted children who became influential people to the society.

One can now say that barrenness is a period when God is still working out an invisible pregnancy that will produce covenant children who may not necessarily come from your own womb but can be brought up by you for Him.

Perhaps as you’re reading this, you’re also trusting God for children. Nocturnally, you’ve wet your bed with tears, God is telling you today to stop crying. Stop worrying about your inability to bear children for now and start rejoicing. Absurd right?

Ok. For the many times that you’ve been crying and lamenting over this matter, what has it added to you? 
The Bible says “which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
You see, you can’t. It then implies that if you don’t worry, you can actually add an hour to your life.

Worry hides your ability to add value to your life. It steals your time of joy. It was Leo Buscaglia that said, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Dear spouse, rejoice in the Lord (in this situation) and he’ll grant you the desires of your heart. I mean, find joy in God, worry less about it, love him even more and while you lavish this love on Him, God will look at your heart and see that need of a child in it and He will then give it to you. Yeah! That is it. Hallelujah!

May this piece strengthen your trust in God and give you an insight of decision that will light up the world.


Joshua Sule  is the author of the book, ‘The Chronicles of McBingo’ and this spousal article happens to be a sequel to his piece, ‘you’re not barren’ published June, 2018.

He hails from Niger State, Nigeria where he keeps contributing to shaping the society with his literary works.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share and leave a comment.

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